Eight Downward Steps Toward Divorce

IOI STUDY TIME
Eight Downward Steps Toward Divorce:

1. Long before a man or woman "puts away" his or her partner in divorce, there is always a "putting away" of the person from real companionship, communication and oneness.

2. When a real closeness and union in marriage is broken, they are forced into a subtle form of adultery. This means that they seek to have their needs for companionship, meaningful conversation, oneness, attention and respect fulfilled by someone other than their marriage partner. This is "adultery" - diluting of marriage. Adultery has a broader meaning than just illicit sex outside marriage. God described Israel's worship of false gods and seeking help from them as adultery.
Adultery (in a broad sense) = seeking to have one's needs met and fulfilled other than through the God-ordained channels method.
Therefore if a man "puts away" his wife from real oneness with himself and she seeks a substitute in soap operas, books, materialism, a job, or other things, he has forced her into a form of adultery. This type of "adultery" always precedes the actual illicit physical union outside marriage.
Such "putting away"..... the breaking of real oneness and communication in marriage ..... results from unresolved differences, unhealed hurts and unforgiving offences. Often the differences are very small. If they are not resolved, however, they will destroy real communication and oneness in marriage. The couple may continue sharing a house, smiling at one another, and having a physical relationship (although it will not really satisfy). However, the real union is ended.
Because some hurt has not been healed, one partner "puts away" the other from the very centre of his life and existence. The "putting away" may be done when the expectations of one partner are dashed again and again.

3. To avoid further hurts, the offended partner withdraws and erects a wall of protection to keep from being hurt again.

4. The hurt person may seek to "get even". This hurts, offends or irritates the other person.

5. He or she then erects a barrier or wall also.

6. Even if divorce does not result (and it does not, in many cases), the marriage relationship becomes a stiff, cold, formal one, without real life, love or meaningful communication.

7. The partner's no longer meet one another's needs.

8. Adultery (physical or emotional) results, as empty people seek fulfillment outside marriage.

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